God Is Teaching Me // It's a Fine, Fine Life # 10

On Valentine's Day, I had a little revelation. I was thinking about love (even I do that a bit on Valentine's Day) and about my life. 

I got a purity ring for my 13th birthday. I wanted to get one and my parents were on board with the idea, so I got one. It was the beginning of a string of choices and commitments to myself about how I would navigate not only my teen years, but relationships in general. 

I've made all these choices, each one solidifying my intent to stay pure and save myself for my husband. But I realized that, I think subconsciously, I expected something in return. That since I was making all these "good choices", then God would reward me. I think that in the back of my mind, I've had the idea that since God has put it on my heart to do these things, that He'll have put it on the heart of the man I will marry. 

The second thing I realized is that such a train of thought is so wrong! I was ashamed that I was even possibly thinking that way. The reason I made the choices I did (and still do) is because that's the way God wants me to live. It is an act of obedience and worship to Him. I do it also for the guys I interact with and for my future husband. As a daughter of God, every boy I interact with is my brother in Christ. Because of that, I should care enough about him, to do everything in my power - with God's help - to not cause him to stumble. To help him lead the kind of life I am trying to live. And I do it for my future husband because I need to love him now. It's a gift to him and when you give a gift, you don't expect anything in return. 
 

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