This Really Has Been Bothering Me
I was out the other day, and I heard two females talking about a guy who was also where we were.
The phrase the one female used was "eye candy". She said this guy was "eye candy".
Now, I've never heard that before, so it took me a moment to register exactly what was meant, but once I figured it out, I was really bothered by it. I'm still bothered by it and I'll see if I can explain why.
The objectification of women gets a lot of attention in our culture. It's wrong to consider us objects and not people. Yet, when someone says some guy is "eye candy", they're doing the EXACT SAME THING! If we don't want to be objectified, we need to show that same respect to men as well.
It's not a hard concept. No woman wants to be solely appreciated for her looks. We want to be appreciated for our qualities and traits. To borrow the colloquialism, we want to be "more than a pretty face." If that's how we want to be viewed, then why would we appreciate guys based on how the look?
I'm sure this particular guy wouldn't really appreciate hearing that some females think he's "eye candy". He'd probably rather they liked him for who he is as a person.
TREAT OTHERS AS YOU'D LIKE TO BE TREATED
If we truly want to not be treated as objects, then we need to not treat men as objects. They are not here for women to drool over. They have things to offer and bring to this world. It's such a simple concept, yet it gets overlooked. Just treat men (and every other human being) as you would like them to treat you.
I want people to be nice to me. As a general rule, if I am a nice person, people are probably going to want to be nice back to me. So if we want to be viewed as human beings, that's how we need to view others. Maybe I'm being redundant, but I think we forget this too often. I'm as guilty as anyone of simply looking at shallow, surface things or stereotyping people.
Imagine how the other person would feel. I felt so sad and sort of upset FOR the guy, who had no idea what was being said about him. I wasn't really in a position to say anything in his defense, but I sure wouldn't like it if some guys were standing around talking about me like that. It still bothers me and honestly, I hope it always does. Because as long as I remember this and it bothers me, then I'm more likely to pay closer attention to how I'm treating people, even if it's just what I'm saying.
These females didn't really know this guy as a person much at all, they just thought he was cute. (I don't like that descriptor either, for basically the same reasons). All they were "judging" him on was his looks. I think that's wrong and sad.
I've always been sort of bothered when girls say a guy is "cute", but this "eye candy" business really got to me. It's not respectful and it's stripping the person being talked about of their humanity. This whole business has to make God sad. He made us all in His image and we throw that out the window and focus on outward things that don't last.
This sounds a bit harsh, and I don't mean to be, yet I want to be clear about what I think is a problem with how people relate to one another. I hope you were able to follow my train of thought. Sorry for being so vague, but I don't want anyone to possibly figure out the details ;)