Funny sayings

1. Don't judge a book by its movie.
2. Apparently, "vegetarian" is an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
3. Misuse of "literally" makes me figuratively insane.
4. Silence is golden; duct tape is silver.
5. Silence is golden. Unless you have a preschooler, then silence is suspicious.
6. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
7. Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
8. The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
9. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. 
10. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran. 
11. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
12. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
13. The Energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery. 
14. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 
15. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?